No Fixed Abode: Tailors, Lanterns and Tourists

Tue 29 Mar 2016 - Hoi An

Yesterday’s disappointment at saying goodbye to our Easy Riders, Hai and Harry was slightly overcome when the hotel receptionist advised us that he’d given us a free upgrade to a suite - and what a gorgeous room it is. Large, well furnished, beautifully appointed, with a funky open air rain shower and comfy bed it made a our first night a dream.

The Lonely Planet introduces Hoi An “Graceful, historic Hoi An is Vietnam's most atmospheric and delightful town...it boasts the grand architecture and beguiling riverside setting that befits its heritage” and with all the reading we’d done we were looking forward to our time here. What a disappointment! 20 yrs ago this place would have lived up to the hype. It is quaint and has some lovely old buildings but they have all been converted to shops selling tourist tat. Even in the attractions - temples, Unesco heritage houses. It’s very disappointing.

After breakfast (hurrah, muesli and milk) we borrowed some bikes from the hotel and set off into town. By another stroke of fortune, we noticed a group of cyclists exiting a lane a short distance from the hotel so turned down there to find a quiet paved path that took us along the riverbank all the way into town. We surfaced into the hectic streets around the market then made our way to the Japanese covered bridge, a famous landmark, where we left our bikes. Admission to the historic sites is by ticket so we found an office nearby and bought two books of five.

Rapidly realising that the crowds and shops were not just restricted to the market area we fought our way through the throng to one of the Chinese ancient houses. Stepping over the threshold we were ushered to a chair, handed a small cup of tea and told to await an English speaking guide. Very nice. When our guide arrived she explained some of the Chinese architectural features then took us to a point where flood water marks had been made on a wall - it seems this area floods frequently with the 1964 flood nearly at the ceiling.

With the formalities over we stood around a large round table and it was straight into the sales pitch as we were asked our birth years and she promptly produced ‘lucky’ medallions bearing the Chinese zodiac animal, followed by other various ‘lucky’ medallions for the house, place of work, children etc. Politely declining we were left to wander around the house at our own pace to admire the fabulous wood carvings and ceramics.

The historic old town was a major trading post as early as the 11thC and over the years the Japanese and Chinese sailed in and then settled here during their own turbulent times (and then left here during Vietnam’s turbulent times), therefore Chinese influences are everywhere. In particular the streets are bedecked with colourful chinese lanterns swaying in the breeze, unfortunately adding to the touristy feel. Each month at full moon the town turns off the street lights and lights these lanterns which of course, attracts even more tourists.
Luckily, we are not here at full moon. Another influence is bespoke tailors with rows and rows of tailors, all purporting to be the best, cheapest or highest ranking on tripadvisor. Silk clothing was another must buy.

Somewhat disenchanted we wandered down another narrow lane lined with lovely old buildings all displaying piles of tourist wares overflowing onto the pavements concealing any interesting features. Reaching our next venue we took one look inside and decided to give it a miss. So where next? A temple must be ok, right?

The Chinese assembly hall (temple) was brightly coloured and full of symbolic carvings and statues: dragons. Phoenixes, turtles and other creatures of Chinese buddhism. Wandering around the relative calm with the incense fumes drifting gently around us we turned to leave and found - a large table selling tourist tat. Not here, in a temple, surely.

Becoming disillusioned with the whole place we stopped for a delicious smoothie, successfully using for the first time the words for “no ice” that Harry had taught us. Refreshed, we wandered back to the river, crossed over a bridge to the sculpture park on the far bank. Clustered amongst the relics of last week’s international food festival the random stone monoliths bearing meaningful titles were lost on us. Eventually we came to a bench so Glenn could take his nap while Yvonne watched a couple of old Vietnamese ladies carrying fruit in two baskets slung over their shoulders on a pole (you know the archetypal Asian image) working a couple of Australian tourists. You have a go carrying this and I’ll take lots of photos of you - now buy some fruit at a heavily inflated price. All done with big smiles.

By now we’d both had enough so collected our bikes, stopped at a couple of temples on the way home to use the remainder of our tickets (to be honest, one Chinese temple is very like another and the writing is double Dutch to us) then returned to the hotel to change out of our temple clothes of longer sleeves and trousers.

Once in shorts we went for a short ride out of town around the rice fields and through the villages watching real Vietnamese life. Farmers in fields, water buffalo grazing, timber workshops, hemispherical bamboo boats and bikes everywhere. Much more us.