No Fixed Abode: Thai massage

Tues 23 Feb 2016 or 2559 here - Bangkok - still

Following being the first ones at breakfast (!) we sped off in the rush hour intent on beating the Oriental crowds for our visit to the Golden Palace. Our strategy was to get there as near to the 8.30am opening time we could. So far, we had this cracked. Stopping several taxis none were interested in taking us, we had to think quickly. We raced down to the familiar territory of the dirty, smelly canal taxi. dodging the traffic on the way, including scooters driving on the pavements. Fortunately a barge had just arrived at the pallet quay and we hopped on and it zoomed off. All on target. At this time of day it was packed with commuters and made frequent stops along the journey into town. We adeptly clambered off in the melee following the crowds up to the main streets and sought a taxi. We could clearly see the majority of the rush hour traffic was going in the opposite direction, no taxi would be interested in our fare. Glenn quickly got our bearings and we were off, frogmarching at speed along a main highway with Yvonne half running, half walking to keep up. At major intersections we had to wait for the green man crossing and much to Glenn’s irritation the traffic lights countdown alongside the green go’s for minutes at a time. All lost time! At minor intersections with no green mans but still the constant flow of scooters, motorbikes, tuk tuks, taxis, coaches, buses and cars, we couldn’t brave it on our own but glued to a local you could manage it. Whenever they made a move you followed in their footsteps. At one point we heard gasps from the pavement and shouting from the road and we saw a lady lying in the middle of the 5 lane highway looking like she had been struck by a car whilst either crossing the road or hit whilst on her scooter. Cars came to a screeching halt and momentarily there was hush before everyone starting yelling and running over to help.

This was now a ridiculously slow journey and we were getting hot and frustrated, no less because we were covered in long trousers and sleeved shirts. This is the strict palace dress code and adopted at several of Temples too. We lessened the pace as we knew we had made great progress to ensure a swift entry to the Palace.

Finally we were crossing the park at the rear of the palace walls, a space still calm and serene following the festival there yesterday. Breathe in and sigh. We were there! And only 8.45am even having walked most of the way. We turned the corner to the entrance and we were hit with wave after wave of yes, Orientals around 10 deep in lines following their guides with the signature follow me umbrella lofted high, through the main gate. We couldn’t even see the end of the queues. Disheartened, we decided to replan our morning and return here around lunchtime when the coach operators had finished, from what we read in reviews.

Our change of plan took us literally around the corner, to Wat Po temple which houses the famous reclining Buddha along with the largest collection of Buddhas in Thailand something like 800+. As we had arrived so early we enjoyed the serenity of the courtyards and took time to observe the reverences required whilst in the various temples and viewing Buddha. No shoes in temples and Buddhas eyes should always be above your waistline. We set about calmly wandering around the temple grounds and entered the reclining Buddha temple. A soaring gilded Buddha lay before us. We pondered whether the temple had been built around the figure or the figure made to measure around the building as it was a perfect fit. The life story of Buddha was depicted in beautifully painted wall panels which continued up into a high ceiling. Every part of the building was highly decorative surrounding this gigantic Buddha laying on his side, his arm propping up his head. As we took so much time gazing at Buddha and the decorations we soon realised the crowds were entering the building and doing the stop and snap selfies, so we decided to leave. The morning was getting hotter so we took refuge in some of the quieter temples to contemplate the Buddhas and admire the highly decorative displays surrounding him. Everyone took their shoes off going into these temples but it was sad to see them sitting on the floor with the feet pointing towards the Buddha. This is considered extremely disrespectful and your feet should be tucked under you in a kneeling position or if sitting on your side with your feet pointing backwards. In one temple there were uniformed guards who ensured everyone took off shoes and periodically they came inside and told people to move their feet. They must despair of us tourists sometimes.

Getting slightly templed out we came across in the far corner of the area, the Wat Po Thai massage training school. This is a highly accredited training school and they welcome people to come in for either feet, half hour or full hour body massage to let their students practise. Yvonne had been quite keen to stumble on this place and promptly dragged Glenn in to pay the small fees they charge. Questioned half or full hour, Yvonne without hesitation replied full hour and Glenn shrugged shoulders and agreed. We were met by our students, bloke for Glenn, lady for Yvonne who took us to another building with rows of beds and shown where to change into huge baggy shorts and a top for Yvonne. Then lying in adjacent beds our one hour massage experience commenced. The first noticeable thing was hearing someone snoring very deeply close to us. Trying to contain our giggles we both closed our eyes not to encourage any further sniggering.
From here it was an hour of painful but pleasurable stretching and manipulation of legs, body, arms and head with our masseur contorting themselves to maximise our movements. This all finished in a very quick hour and we both sat on the edge of our beds for a short while unable to muster the strength to go and change. We sluggishly revived with a mulberry tea and soon perked up both exclaiming how quickly the hour passed and let’s do that again tomorrow!

We both excitedly exchanged painful manipulation poses agreeing on which ones felt most beneficial and felt we were now sufficiently invigorated to tackle a return visit to the Grand Palace. A hop, skip and jump around the block and ...we stopped in our tracks. Another seemingly endless swarm of orientals queueing to get in. With gritted determination we joined the ranks through a security bag check and then found the long queue to pay. We were in the midday sun surrounded by hundreds of selfie wielding, noisy tourists when Glenn announced we possibly didn’t have sufficient cash to get in following the unexpected massages. Yvonne jumped at the chance to say let’s go then, with a plausible argument we can return later in April when we return to Bangkok to fly to Sri Lanka. We weaved past the incoming crowds and slumped on the perimeter wall in the shade. Composing ourselves we decided to walk back and passed dozens of shops selling religious paraphernalia with dozens of shrines, life sized plaster caste golden Buddhas and bejewelled elephants, we turned into several long narrow alleyways crisscrossing our way back with a gentleman cycling past with a fully laden hardware shop on his bicycle complete with feather dusters and the carpenters area where they worked on massive lathes practically on the street with the wood chips flying out and covering passers by.

Traipsing around in the heat of the day was taking its toll as we hopped on the smelly, dirty water taxi back to the hotel crossing the chaotic roads with a slightly more ease. Electing for an early dinner we google mapped the area and spotted a restaurant, “Once upon a Time”. nearby (why didn’t find this two days ago!). and Tripadvisor had good reviews plus the hotel golf caddy ran us there. The restaurant is an oasis of calm in the middle of the high rise buildings and export/import businesses. A tropical garden with flowing waters shaded by huge banyan trees we picked some unknown dishes and enjoyed extremely tasty food. We suspect we’ll be back here very soon.